Be Courageous, Be Vulnerable
I am finally at a place in my life where I am admitting who I am. Do you think allowing yourself to be vulnerable is a sign of weakness? I sure have. I have not allowed myself to be vulnerable for fear of getting hurt. I am at a point of feeling comfortable with who I am and am starting to share it with others. I feel that people cannot like or love me if they don’t know the real me if I am not showing them who I really am. My exterior has not aligned with my interior and my A-HA moment occurred just a few weeks ago when I read the book, “The Little Black Book of Being Fabulous” by Dorris Burch. It screamed at me that I am not being true to myself or speaking my truth. God gave me the experiences I’ve had so that I can be a voice of truth, hope, encouragement, and faith.
Everyone who knows me knows that I am a wife, mom, sister, and friend. What everyone may not know is that I have anxiety, panic attacks, and PTSD. I am not talking about regular anxieties, I am talking about having anxieties that started at a very young age. I was always told to not cry, to not show other emotions except fear, acceptance, and happiness. I started throwing up at least daily at a very young age, probably since I was one or two years old because of a nervous stomach. You see, I was born into a world of alcoholism, abuse, fighting, and unrest in my household. From that, I have also had full-blown panic attacks.
I don’t share this with you for pity. I share this with you because now I am letting people know when I feel uneasy about certain situations. You see, I was always the one to adapt to or avoid situations that made me uncomfortable. Just being in a room with 10 people I don’t know can give me huge anxieties. I go from trying, to hibernating, all to avoid those feelings. But you know what…? I have ventured out of my hibernation and comfort zone.
You see, I’m learning that allowing others in is a great thing. In the past couple of months, I have found myself being embraced by other women I am just meeting. Listening to their stories gives me courage. I am opening myself up to freedom and support by sharing my truth. If you allow others to know who YOU are, not the shell you think they want to see, you open the door to numerous opportunities for love and acceptance.
It is good to share the real YOU and let others in. It’s not natural to stay alone or hibernate. Humans are social creatures and we all need to express and receive love and encouragement. I encourage you to be yourself! You never know who is watching you and who you will inspire.
~ K.O.E. (Kara Orella-Enos)