We are all meant to be something in this life. Do you ever look at people and wish you were them? Do you ever compare your tragic story to someone else’s carefree life? Do you ever wonder why some people with the same or similar life experiences have different lives? I ask this last one a lot.
My brothers and I grew up in the same household with the same alcoholic bio-dad, the same authoritarian stepdad, and we all turned out different. We’ve all had our struggles, some more than others, but we’ve all handled them differently. Some have turned to addiction, some have not. Some have played the victim, some have not. I have been blessed in that I have not turned to addiction or victim-hood. Why?
It is my perspective that it has to do with the way we see life. Are we focused solely on the event or thing that happened to us? Have we looked towards our lifelines and other positive aspects during that time? I believe so. I believe that when you look at what you have been through with a victim mentality that you continue to allow yourself to be treated like a victim throughout the course of your life. That doesn’t mean it can’t change, because it can. I have seen it in my brothers. At times it is short term, and other times it is long term. Does it take work? YES!
One of my foremost guiding beliefs is this: What you put out into the world comes back to you, and it can come back to you many times over. If you are putting out negative thoughts about yourself and others, you are getting that back my friend. Why? Because that is where your focus is! Yes, negative things happen to us in life, and some way more than others. Take me for example, I am not perfect, but I looked at life as if there’s something better out there for me than my current circumstances. I’m able to rise above it, pick myself up from the bootstraps, and carry on. Again, it takes work, hard work. I’ve had many obstacles such as overwhelming panic and anxiety attacks, depression, and lack of self-confidence. Trust me, there have been many years of my life where I was just surviving. But you know what? I was surviving more than others. What does that mean? It means that I was doing whatever it took to make ends meet for my family, getting counseling and doing the hard work to overcome what was blocking me during the rough patches, not wallowing in self-pity, having faith that there is something to grow from these experiences and that good will prevail.
I don’t compare myself to others. My journey is my own just as your journey is yours. I will not and cannot judge you for I have not walked in your shoes on your path. If I had, we may have taken different steps to get to where we are today, and with the same or different results, but we’ll never know. It’s impossible to judge a person by the clothes they wear, their attitude, their success in life or lack thereof.
We were all born with our own stories and experiences. I believe we are meant to use these as tools to help others. When you are looking at someone who looks like they’ve been given a gifted, carefree life and are super successful in business, they are meant to teach business. If you’re looking at someone who has had a tragic life and is super successful in business, they are meant to teach how to rise up and overcome so that success can happen. Life was never carefree for me, and I’m not the most successful person, but I am here, and all of it has been an experience that I am meant to pass on to help encourage others. Go on, be an encourager!
~Kara XO
Kara Orella-Enos 