Kara Orella-Enos

One of the things my book coach and I discovered during our call this week where she had me do a 5-minute writing warm-up, is that I wrote it in 3rd person… so now I am finishing it in 3rd person, then writing it in 1st person to see which is more natural and tells the story better.

One of the things I am noticing while writing is my heart racing quite a bit. You know when harm has been done to you, you still have to have compassion for the person/people who hurt you, it’s quite a challenge. Taking a break for a moment for insight, calmness, peace, forgiveness (which can sometimes be an ongoing thing), and perspective is key. I know I am going to have to take breaks writing this book, some longer than others as I delve deeper into this. Self-care is going to play an important role in this journey.

On another note, in our discussion this week about the storyline, there may be more than one book…I give it to God. There is a message that needs to be out there in this world and I give it to Him to help the words flow.

It’s all about self-care! Yes! I personally feel that everyone should set some time aside for themselves to rejuvenate and do what you love. Whether it’s an hour or a whole day, it does not matter.

Sundays are our Fun-days! Unless the hubs and I are away or have guests, we take our Sundays very seriously! These are the days we sit in our pajamas, I’m surrounded by at least two of my dogs and hubby has a cat sitting next to him, sipping coffee leisurely while catching up on our beloved computer time. For me that is playing some online Bingo, for hubby, it’s his online Football game. I will usually make us a nice breakfast around 10ish, maybe have another coffee after, then hit the shower to feel human the rest of the day.

This is the time for me to use a nice exfoliating scrub on my face, and a charcoal detox mask, or a hydration mask, whichever is best suited depending what has occurred this past week. Today was all about detox! Too much smoke in our air from our local fires, combined with the heat, I felt the need to deep clean! My reward for this is also not to wear makeup on Sundays so that my skin can take a break and refresh, enjoying its invigorated freedom.

From here we either relax around the house or go get a coffee somewhere. It depends on our mood, weather, time of day, and whatever we feel like doing. Then we’re off to go get a foot rub! We LOVE doing this on our Sundays. So very relaxing! We will then go get something to eat for dinner, mostly take out like Poke Bowls, especially in the Summer. Aside from going out to breakfast on Saturdays, we don’t go out a lot and spend money on other things. Sundays are our one splurge for the week that we don’t have to feel guilty about. And, that is the point of self-care as well, not to feel guilty for taking care of yourself!

There are many sayings that go along the lines of “If you’re not taking care of yourself, you can’t take care of others”, or “After emptying your cup, it’s time to fill it back up”. Something like that. We give so much of ourselves to others during the week, whether its family, work or friends, it is so important we fill our cup.

What do you do for self-care? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

XO

Kara

**Expletives in this post**

I have spent my entire life trying to ignore the harmful, negative, evil experiences that have occurred. It took me until about five years ago to accept my anxiety and panic attacks, even though I have dealt with them since early childhood. And to boot, I’ve been in and out of therapy trying to figure out why! I kept thinking that my life was normal, so why was this happening to me? Why couldn’t I go through life without anxiety or panic? Seriously, completely denying my entire existence and trying to be someone I wasn’t.

It has been very freeing embracing who I truly am. I had my A-HA moment just a few short weeks ago when I read a book by Dorris Burch called “The Little Black Book of Being Fabulous: Who is this woman who can be self-aware, confident and yet hold a powerful presence?” I had no idea what an impact this book would make in my life! I just thought it would be an interesting read. After all, I had seen in the reviews that it was a quick read and a good book. In a nutshell, my A-HA moment came when I was reading how I was living my life small, trying to please others and be who they wanted me to be. It hit me like a ton of bricks that I AM LIVING MY LIFE SMALL! I was seriously trying not to rock the boat, bring attention to myself, or upset others. Instead, I would make sure everyone around me was happy, trying to control my environment. The next moment I was like “FUCK THAT!” I need to quit living life small, accept who I am and that includes ALL my experiences.

Now I know that this change is going to come with some people liking me, loving me, or leaving me. I know that because of my changes internally, it is going to upset the apple cart for some people. I am okay with that. I have spent my entire life being a people pleaser. I am 50 years old, about to be 51 in a couple of months, and it’s time I start living for me. I am way too young to live a life less than full, and I have a lot more life to live and enjoy. I am feeling empowered, strong, courageous, and if I am being truly honest, a bit scared. I am writing this book about my life journey so that others can see that whatever shit life throws at you, you CAN OVERCOME, TRANSCEND, ARISE OUT OF THE ASHES, and be nothing less than the Stellar You, You Are Meant To Be! This is exactly how I am feeling about my life now. I know it is still sticky, messy, emotional, and trying at times. But you know what? I’ve been through worse! A lot worse! AND I’M HERE TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT! I AM A BADASS SURVIVOR!

Since I had my A-HA moment, I’ve only had to take Xanax twice for my anxiety, and I am pretty sure one of those was instigated from caffeine! You see, letting go of who I am not has freed me to be me. Hey, I guess that is cliché “FREE TO BE ME”, but whatever! LOL! J  In all seriousness, my anxiety is pretty gone! I can hardly believe it myself. I honestly believe that being my true self, owning my life and my life’s truth, is the Kryptonite to my anxiety.

As I write this I am crying. I’m crying because I can’t believe I’ve wasted so much of my life ignoring myself, and at the same time I am so happy to have found this for myself and I want others to find it as well! I encourage you to embrace your true self, to stop living life small if that is what you are doing. You are not helping anyone by living that way and certainly not helping yourself. Trust me, Darling, you are worth living the full you experience!

Hugs & Kisses

XO